A dERpy Truth is Finally Revealed!

May 9, 2020.  Shep S.

As some of you know, sometime around 2014 dERp posted a picture of herself to me.  She asked if I liked it.   I insisted that she take the image down for her own safety.  She argued, but eventually she complied. Time passed and for some previously unexplained reason, she denied ever posting a picture to me.  This morning the reason for her denial became apparent.
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(To set the proper tone for this post, click the link below and let it play as you continue to read.)
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Can't Stop Laughing
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O H
M Y
G A W D !
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That's what this has been all about?  For all of these years?
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I NEVER knew!
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dERp was (and apparently still is) insecure because PJ4 is prettier than her?!?
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bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(wheeze)BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA
(gasp)bwaaaahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahhaaha
(deep convulsive breath)BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAH...
hahahaha..haha...hahahh..ha...
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Quiddit Will!  I need to breath!!!!!
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This explains so many things!
1.)  Why dERp posted the image to me in the first place.  I never caught on.
2.)  Why she asked me, "Do you like my pict?"
3.)  Why she made that particular "Peace" with me.
4.)  Why she started denying she posted the pic to me years later!
5.)  Why she chose an image with her best catch-me-f**k-me look!<b>
6.)  Why she later denied posting her "Come Hither" pic to me!
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BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAA!
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dERp was crushing on me!
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Sheesh Will, you better be careful.  I never knew she posted that picture to you too.  You know how obsessive she can be.
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA!
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T H A N K
Y O U
W I L L !
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You absolutely made my morning!
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Gotta fly!

Alex Jones Says He's Considering Eating Neighbours If COVID-19 Lockdown Continues

Think you're going stir crazy from the coronavirus lockdown? Conspiracy theorist Alex 
Jones can probably top any disturbing thoughts you might be having.

He said on his radio talk show he's willing to go full cannibal.

If COVID-19 shutdowns continue,he said,he has "extrapolated this out" and may have 
to resort to drastic and disgusting methods of survival.

"I'll admit it. I will eat my neighbours," Jones said,predicting a dystopian future 
plagued by food shortages.

"I won't have to for a few years 'cause I got food and stuff--but I'm literally looking 
at my neighbours now and going, I'm ready to hang'em up gut'em and skin'em. My 
daughters aren't starving to death. I will eat my neighbours. ...I will."

Although Jones' admissions could make neighbourhood watch meetings awkward, 
he says he plans on gobbling "Globalists"who imposed the lockdown first.

"You think I like sizing up my neighbour?! Jones said. "I'm going to haul him up 
by a chain and chop his ass up! I'll do it! My children aren't going hungry! I'll eat 
your ass! And that's what I want the globalists to know--I will eat your ass first!"